Our journeys are our journeys, and no matter how difficult they might be, they always awaken us to the truth of ourselves and Remembrance.
Many of you who know me well, know that my journey has been one of horrific darkness into one of transformation into Light.
Knowing that we choose our birth and all of it’s circumstances beforehand, and that there are lots of other folks who have chosen difficult paths for their life to awakening, mine was still difficult.
My mother was raped by her father as a young girl and she pushed it into the deepest darkest hole she could, never to feel it again and while she was pregnant with me she put that pain body onto me in her womb, which took many many many decades for me to work through.
At two years old my father, who was most likely schizophrenic after returning from world war two came very close to killing me, which was prevented by my mother who paid a dear price and was able to escape, yet later sent me back to live with him again where I witnessed much abuse being heaped on his other stepchildren.
My mother remarried a man who turned out to be as emotionally numb as she was and who raped his daughter. We were a family that lived in the same house, yet did not know each other nor did we know how to make connections with each other. and as it turns out, a typical family.
So not an easy journey, and I’m only touching on a few of the points here. I abandoned my children at an early age, was lost in drug use for a very long time, unable to make connections with others except in the most shallow and superficial ways, I did not really begin to actually grow up until my mid 40s and was severely emotionally stunted, being somewhere around 16 or so emotionally.
I spent decades working for a faux teacher who was a combination of kind and abusive and knew just where to poke to get me to do what they wanted.
Finally in the mid 1990s I started on the path of awakening in earnest and began to recover all of the fractured parts of myself.
I share this today to let you KNOW with absolute certainty that no matter how broken you think or feel you are, YOU’RE NOT. You were never broken, just temporarily mis-aligned / fractured, and now have all the tools you need to remember who you truly are.
Remember, this isn’t about the details of my journey, there are some that are so more horrific they make mine look simple walk in the park.
We all choose our birth circumstances and what we wish to work through in each incarnation we enter into in order to clear it and this time mine was to clear this horrible violence through the lineage of my birth family.
Also, and I’ve always felt this way, it makes us more compassionate to others suffering when we emerge on the other side.
